As I sit here today reflecting on this past year, it was a period of personal growth and finding myself again. I had the opportunity to study abroad in Hong Kong earlier this year and had the opportunity to visit Taiwan, Singapore, Beijing, and Japan. I came back more “culturally aware” (what everyone thinks after they’ve been abroad for some time) and came back with an angst to travel to see the world. Soon later, I came back stateside and started a summer internship at a marketing communications agency in Washington D.C. With the final few months, I’ve kept myself busy in school while balancing an internship on the side. This might seem like I have everything together, but I was struggling to keep it all together internally.
I was incredibly self-conscious and lacked confidence while I was abroad. I’m sure many of you reading this can relate – but what people think about me scares the shit out of me. I let other people’s comments get to me which added to my anxiety. Then coming back to the United States and learning that the people I’ve called my closest friends for six years have completely turned their backs against me, I broke down.
“I’ve ruined myself for a lot of people who aren’t even worth it.” – The Katy Project
Since that has happened, I decided to put myself first before anyone else. I needed to make sure I was okay before I could take care of the people around me. I needed to learn that it was okay to lose the people that were once in my life, especially if they weren’t good for me. It’s okay. Everything will be okay.
This year, I learned I can take on more than I thought, but I also need to put time aside for my own mental health. I loved keeping myself busy while learning and contributing to great work at an agency. I’m glad that 2017 is coming to an end, and I can’t wait to see where and what 2018 will take me to. In a couple of weeks, I will be starting my final semester of undergraduate studies. I am nervous about the unpredictable future, but I am hopeful for what is to come.
New Year’s Resolution: Read and Learn More. Do what makes me HAPPY!